Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Who are you?
Years ago I took this art class at School of Visual Arts in Manhattan. I wanted to learn how to figure draw so I signed up for a class and two weeks later I was sitting in a large sunny studio on the third floor of one of the most exciting schools (in my opinion) in the world. I would take the train home after class with my shirt completely dirty from charcoal and pastels, a big drawing pad and I would watch my reflection in the glass of the train doors as I rode the E train home. I felt so proud of myself for deciding to nurture a creative desire of mine. After a few weeks it was kinda obvious that I was the least skilled in the class; but what can I say, it was a little difficult trying to draw the male anatomy while trying to keep a straight face. My teacher was this very free spirited woman with crazy curly brown hair, big glasses and she always wore biker shorts with Teva shoes.
One day we were looking over my drawings and she told me that as an artist, I needed to start thinking about what I wanted to express in my work and to always ask myself "who am I?" I was shocked when she called me an artist because up until that point I was feeling intimidated by the talent of everyone else. Her point was for me to stay true to my own style, my own observation of the world, my true self. After that talk I did'nt feel intimidated anymore. I kept drawing,and every now and then I would look around the classroom feeling joy to just be in the company of so much talent.
Who am I????
I ask myself this all the time now because being a mother, student, employee, daughter to an aging mom, a woman, sometimes I forget who I am and life and people can intimidate me to the point of submitting to what they think I need to be. I have had to make serious decisions these past few weeks regarding relationships and more than anything, the mantra rings true "Know Thyself"...
So sister, mother, daughter, student, writer, artist, woman...
Who are you today?